Who should pay for your wedding?


If you can’t afford to get married, then don’t get married is one debate! But the old debate of Mummy & Daddy paying for the big day will crop up again and again. The wedding team is divided on the best options for who should foot the bill!
The old fashioned rules of certain people paying for certain items can be helpful to the more traditionally minded, but if you don’t wish to conform to these ‘norms’ then it can be difficult to decide on who, if anyone pays for what. Here are the traditional views on who should pay:

The Bride
The traditional bride gets a great ‘free ride’, with all but a few items paid for, the Bride pays for:

  • The Grooms rings
  • The Bridesmaids Gifts
  • A Wedding gift for the Groom

The Groom
The Groom gets to spend a little more with a few key items added to the list:

  • The Bride’s Engagement Ring
  • The Bride’s Wedding Ring
  • The Brides Bouquet and flowers for the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
  • The Groomsmen’s gifts
  • A wedding gift for the Bride
  • Marriage licence and officiant costs
  • The Honeymoon

The Bride’s Family
This is notoriously the bone of contention between the in-laws, where the Bride’s family pays the bulk of the costs of the Reception and a few other key items:

  • Engagement announcement in the newspaper (if this is desired)
  • Wedding Reception
  • Flowers at the Reception and Ceremony
  • Wedding Ceremony
  • Brides Wedding Cress and accessories
  • Initiations
  • Wedding Favours
  • Wedding Cake
  • Wedding Band
  • Wedding Photography
  • Transportation

The Groom’s Family
The Grooms family is not expected to pay for anything associated with the wedding, some non-traditional elements of the wedding can be paid for:

  • Engagement Party
  • Rehearsal Dinner

If you and your partner want to break free from these traditional constrictions, then this is completely up to you. Be sensitive to the expectations of both your families, as you are merging two different ‘tribes’, any awkward conversation about financial matters are best done in the open, as this can become an awkward and topic of resentment if handled incorrectly. Some parents will have saved for their child’s wedding and dream of having the opportunity to splash out on realising their dream. This is your dream day, so accept with grace what is given, but remember there will be a certain expectation if significant outlays of money is given, and exchange and compromise will be expected, unless of course the in-laws are saints!
No one wants to plan a dream wedding that they have to re-mortgage the house for, so be mindful of reigning in your budget. If you don’t think you should ask the family for a contribution, then make a plan split the cost between the newly engaged couple. Or controversially, you can ask your guests for a contribution in lieu of a wedding present.

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